Back to the barre

I love Cyberspace. I love that we, ministry professionals, can get together and support each other from miles away with the click of a mouse.

I'm a dancer. I used to be in a ballet/tap/jazz company in Chicago, but moved to Houston and haven't found one here that doesn't think I'm too "old." I still dance, though, and am in an Irish company, but I digress. My point in this, beyond rambling, is that I like the movie Center Stage. At some point in the movie, the dance instructor tells a struggling student that she needs to remember her "home" which is the ballet barre. Whenever she's stressed, she should just go back to the barre.

There is a point to this (I told you I'm nonlinear sometimes), and that is that when things are rough at work, I feel like I can always go back to my home in Cyberspace where I can read others' struggles and solutions and get support from my Crossroads friends or from people I've never met and know only by their blog names.

It's tough being in ministry. I've worked for big corporations like Worldcom, but ministry has it's own set of problems, mainly because you don't expect Christians to behave the same way people do at Worldcom. I guess that's a perception problem on my part, but it is still frustrating. The constant backbiting, the control freaks, the patriarchal leaders who disregard women in ministry, the people who seem to want to completely sabotage children's ministry and the people who seem to forget that we even exist as they stomp all over us, trumping us out of meeting space or money and worse, head pastors who don't have the guts to stand up to the trumpers--all of these can wear you down and make you want to run away screaming. I'm at that point today, if you can't tell. But I know that I can always come back to the barre--back to people who struggle with the same problems and who remind me that I am called to a purpose high above human issues and to discard my tunnel vision, which gets wrapped up in the negatives.

I wish, that at some point, we could all meet up and have a retreat of sorts to get away, share ideas and notes, and support each other in person. Maybe we should.

Presentation

I gave a presentation this weekend on Generation Mosaic, how to relate to them, and how to get them connected to Sunday School and to the church in general.

My research led me to a few conclusions about this generation (younger Y and Z): they are charitable and volunteer oriented (ideal missionaries), tech savvy, very sensory, well educated, and a little bit of everything. Problem arises between the generations because Ys and Zs aren't linear thinkers, as a whole. For example, when watching the CNN screen, Boomers will look at mainly the anchor talking and ignore the rest of the screen. Xers will selectively look at both, and Yers will see it all at once, taking it all in and not necessarily prioritizing one piece of news over another (do they need to, really? depends). Fast edit video and video games have contributed to this style of thinking, which is not a fault but a difference. The problem is that past generations, though different in thought and values, could still communicate those values effectively amongst each other, whereas the older generations are frustrated with Yers because they don't think in the same left brained, linear way.

How do we relate to them? through the 4 R's: being real, relational, relevant, and rigorous. Mosaics want adults to be authentic. Being real communicates integrity and helps foster trust, something they want to have with adults but don't readily have with them. They know adults don't have it all together, and they want to hear that. Gone is the 1950s Cleaver perfection.

Relational is what post moderns are searching for in churches anyway--a community. Mosaics are no different, except that they probably desire it more. My Space is booming with kids looking for community/relationships, and don't tell them that their "friends" list (known for a few weeks) isn't as important as someone mom and dad have known for years. Their friends are just as valued, even if they haven't met face to face, which is the beauty of Cyberspace really. So building on being real, establish relationships with these kids outside of SS.

Relevance--educational theory supports a need for kids to connect what is learned to real life. I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one, readers, but relevance helps those lessons stick.

Rigorous--this one is the hard one bc rigor has a negative connotation of stiffness and rigidity. By rigor, I mean persistance. Don't give up on these kids, and be rigorous about helping them iron out priorities. Helicopter parents have hovered so much that Mosaics can't make decisions on their own--they've lost their voice. Any coach or teacher is going to tell them that their sport/activity is #1 priority. Problem is, these kids are so overprogrammed and have let others prioritize for them for so long that they try to do EVERYTHING as #1, burning themselves out in the process.

Church, however, has become one of those things that parents put on the back burner bc God will forgive an absence but Coach won't. The rigor comes into play when we remind kids of the first 2 commandments when setting priorities and have them learn to make Biblically based decisions on their own through prayer and Biblical insight.

Also we need to be rigorous about making sure that they have internalized the Bible story/lesson. Workshop rotation is cool and exciting, but if they can't connect the science project to the Bible lesson, there was a breakdown somewhere (probably in linear vs nonlinear communication). Use KWL: find out what the kids already know, then what they want to know, and what they've learned at the end. Ask for clarification. Involve them in analysis throughout (What do you think is going to happen? Why did Jesus do that?). And, again, WR has its downfalls because of having a different teacher from week to week, but make sure you ask, "What did you do last week? And how does that relate to the 1o leper story?"

Anyway, a 4 hour workshop is hard to summarize in a blog posting, but the presentation went well, and I've been asked to give a modified version to a parent SS class soon. I'm on the cusp of X and Y, so I can see both sides and am sometimes linear and thinking and sometimes more right brained. I see neither as negative, but if we don't bridge the gap in communication, we're going to lose these kids.

Stream of Consciousness

Went to the conference this weekend which was a bust, really. JCM was right--it's good for first timers and for getting craft/game ideas. I did get a few tidbits of good information, but networking was almost impossible, and really the whole thing felt like a giant resource fair. I felt like each seminar was just to advertise the products they had to sell on the back table. This is why I stopped going to conferences years ago.

I was, however, introduced to the God Rocks videos. They're reminiscent of Schoolhouse Rock but designed to help with memorization of Bible Verses. Why did I not see these before?

Planning 2 big events back to back (what was I thinking): Fear Not Festival Oct 27 and Art Auction on Nov 11. After much prayer and brainstorming, I figured out a way to make my team comfortable forming sub committees. Originally, I had them each taking up a section of an event and forming a subcommittee from that, but that was too daunting for many of them. So I now have groups of 4 forming subcomittees together, and they are just exploding with excitement. In fact, I may have to reel them in a little because they're treading on thin ice budgetwise (not a bad problem to overcome really).

Art Auction: I need to think of a name for it. We're not only having it set up like a gallery with a silent auction for the kids' art, but we're going to have music, a coffee bar, and poetry readings. It's more like an art celebration than just an auction. The theme is The Glory of God, and kids aged 2 to grade 5 can submit.

Lots of behind the scenes stuff going on. I've been involved in ministry all my life (my parents were CMs), but I'm always surprised by the amount of underhanded backstabbing and control issues that happen in the church.

Going to change the name (and possibly location) of this blog soon, so I'll let everyone know where the new site is.

Ok, it's Monday, my day off, so maybe I should get some things done around the house for once!

Conferences

Headed to INCM's Children's Ministry Seminar in Fort Worth this weekend.

Anyone else know of any good conferences/worshops? I know there's an INCM children's pastor's conference. Is it a good one? How about Promiseland? APCE?

Others?

I need a retreat

It's my day off, but really, I have so much to do at home that I can't find time to refresh. I need some time, though, because too much is happening all at once.

Something strange is happening at the church, and I can't tell if it is good or bad. I think it's the chaos before the good really. We have an interim pastor and a pretty young/new staff right now, so that always shakes things up, especially in a Presbyterian church.

I didn't grow up Presby and have always worked/worshipped in Methodist churches, so the culture is a little new to me, more new than I thought it would be. Plus, the area is pretty affluent, and I'm used to working with either inner city kids or less affluent suburban families. I mean, many of the issues are the same with all CM work or any work with volunteers really (apathy, lethargy, misuse of time, etc), but there's some spirit in this church that I can't quite put my finger on. All I know is that I have the strongest urge to fall down literally on my knees and pray for us without ceasing.

For the past few weeks, I've had several somewhat negative encounters. They aren't negative outright but in a way that I can't put my finger on. They just feel negative. I know I sound like a nutjob, but there's something just weird. There's much much much miscommunication, and I am usually the queen of communication (English major, afterall), but I'm having trouble getting people to correctly hear what I have to say. Also, there's intense division happening. The different services are divided against each other. People with different backgrounds are dividing against each other. Parents divide against each other into little cliques--parents of preschoolers don't mingle with parents of elementary or parents of jr high, etc., and they all vehemently fight for their group without regard for another.

Sunday school groups are fighting to steal people (to be the popular group), and small groups aren't open to receive others. It's like rush week at college. I hated rush week, and I hate seeing that culture permeate a church, the success driven culture.

Another weird thing: The school district is the new church. School activities trump any church activities, and man, let me tell you, these people have themselves stacked with school activities. And if their kids are homeschooled, they are stacked with park district activities, particularly sports. The swim team forces parents to attend and work every meet, and they do so without questioning (well, I have to do it or little Suzee will get kicked off the team and won't get scholarships, and I know that she's only 6, but you've got to plan ahead for her future), but they won't volunteer at a church event. Again a focus on success, whatever that means.

Where is the future? Is the future in little Suzee's college years, when empty nest mom and dad have no idea what to do now that they aren't micromanaging her life? According to an article in Psychology Today and further discussed on A Nation of Wimps, with cell phones, they will continue to micromanage. Suzee needs them to.

Or is the future much farther ahead (or closer than we think)? What about her future with God? What about her present with God?

I'm not articulating my thoughts well because I can't even get a grasp on them, but I just feel like weeping or praying or both for the church, and though I think that we are headed for something great, the "right now" is very troubling.

Recruitment Ideas and weekend recap

Saw this article in Christianity Today. Most of it is pretty much a nobrainer, but it does have some good ideas like parent day and bring a friend to volunteer day.

Back to work after a weekend away on vacation. Our numbers only dropped by 10, which was good for a holiday weekend. My 5th grade shepherd is doing a fabulous job of connecting with the kids offsite (Away from SS). She put a stack of little notes in my box for me to mail out for visitors and nonvisitors alike.

Friday was the Church Family Play Date. We met at a bowling alley and had great fun. Watching the kids was precious, especially watching the youth play with the kids. I loved the mix of family types (youth, elem, preschool). The Older Adults would've joined us, making it an intergenerational event, but they had an event scheduled already. Next month is pumpkin carving.

My vacation went well. Celebrated my friend's 30th at a South American restaurant in Austin. So much good food. I think I ate my weight in plantains. It was good to get away. My brain feels much more rested.

Roger's 19

While I'm not sure about his FAT style of recruiting, I do like his 19 Simple Rules about CM .

Some of my favorites and why:

• The facilities/maintenance supervisor will not be permitted to give the Children’s Pastor mean looks in the hallway.--Oh, man do I have this problem, especially since I painted chalkboard paint on the wall in one of the rooms. The Building and Grounds committee could not (even after full explanation) understand why I painted the wall instead of installing a chalkboard. It raised such controversy that they brought it to Session and approved a new policy of approval for paint selection. Good thing I painted the orange and lime green room before the policy came out.
  
• No matter how disruptive children’s church becomes during the adult service, ushers are not permitted to enter children’s church and “shush” while kids are singing.--Had this happen last Sunday when the kids were so excited about receiving their Bibles and were asking a multitude of questions. The usher actually came in and told them to be quiet, as they were disturbing the worshippers. Stuffy church!
• The names of children’s ministry workers who fail to show up without notifying the department director will be printed in the church bulletin the following week. Second offenses will result in a public reprimand by the Senior Pastor during the adult service on the following Sunday morning.--Ha! In my dreams.

FAT Ministry

An article I recently read was "How to Recruit a FAT Ministry Team" by Roger Fields. It basically talks about shedding the old begging routine with ministry and making it appear like an almost elitist position to serve. Note his thoughts:

"Put out the word that working in the children's ministry is by invitation only; no volunteers will be accepted. You can ue the bulletin for this announcement. Make it known that from now on working in the children's ministry is an honor. People who are truly called to this ministry will let you know."

I believe that we shouldn't just recruit willy nilly, but should we actually put those words in the bulletin? If I were new to a church and saw that working in CM was by invite only, I'd not only tell them to stuff it, but I would leave and find a new church.

Time for a Breather

BTSW--check
Tea--check
start of SS--check
restructure SS for more kids--check
3rd grade Bible presentation--check

Now I can rest for a little bit.

Cool thing from this weekend, though. We had 7 kids RSVP for their Bibles, but 30 kids came up to the front. Thank God I had enough Bibles up there. Several of those kids were visitors and had never had a Bible before and didn't know how to use it. In SS, now that we have broken up into smaller groups, the teachers were able to focus on teaching those kids about their Bibles, and I think they are going to come back. One of the things I've found in my ministry at this church and at others is that if you give them Bibles, they will come (to play off a phrase). Seriously though, at our preteen ministry on Wed nights, we give free Bibles to anyone to take home, and those kids come back. It is the coolest thing to see them treasure a Bible and come back for a Bible, not an mp3 player or some other freebie. It's very powerful.

Plus, in the 3rd grade group for SS, we had a teacher mixup, so there wasn't a teacher available. Before the shepherds and I could even scramble to think of what to do, one of the kids said, "Can we do what we did in KidsInC last week since we got our new Bibles?" What we had done was make bookmarks out of 4 different colored ribbons (Learning to Use My Bible--Cokesbury) for them to mark the Table of Contents, the OT, Psalms, and the NT. I was nervous because I ran out of ribbon, but we pulled out a bucket of yarn, and the kids were braiding it together. Kids were teaching the new kids and helping them find the sections. We didn't even miss not having a teacher.

Such a cool weekend! I left that day and on the way to lunch I just screamed out, "I love my job!" It's so cool to see that even if things have "failed" on a physical plane, God knows exactly what He is doing! It gets hard sometimes, especially when everyday someone has to complain or question a decision that I've made, but when I stop and see that the Lord's hand is in every bit of it, even the "mistakes," I can just smile and tell those people that God knows what He's doing. It stops them dead in their tracks and preserves my joy!

Education

So some of the people in the church are encouraging me to get my MACE (MA in Christian Education) from Union PSCE. I, however, have one masters already (albeit in literature, but that's no matter), so I'd prefer to go straight for a doctorate in education. One of the pastors suggested that the doctorate in education would serve as a more well rounded degree and would serve me better in the future. The MACE, of course, is distance learning and is easy to obtain (much easier to embark upon while working full time). Things that are easy, though, tend not to be as well received in the world, so I don't know what to do. Deadlines are approaching. Any suggestions?

The Wild Ride has begun

The teacher tea was yesterday and was a big hit with the ladies and the gentlemen teachers. The theme was A Little Taste of Children's Ministry, and we did a tea tasting with 5 different teas, finger sandwiches, and desserts. My committee decorated beautifully with purple, sage green, and ivy, and the breakout training sessions were very helpful, according to both new and veteran teachers. It was a nice way to start off the year, and everyone was pleased with the changes I made for the fall, which was a relief to me.

Last week, of course was the BTSW, which brought back 50 visiting families who had fallen out of touch with us and brought in 11 new families who are interested in joining the church. Plus, it really pumped up the kids and youth, who have told their parents that they are bringing friends to church from now on.

That known, I worked hard to make sure that all the last minute details were in place, ensuring that we had 2 shepherds for each group (1st graders, 2nd and 3rd, and 4th and 5th) and filling all but 2 off the teaching spots for the entire fall rotation. A little nervous, I kept consoling myself with the fact that everything was smooth sailing--that is, until today!

You know, I think that God waits for the exact moment that you become comfortable to do wonderous upside down twirls in your little rollercoaster of a ministry. I walked in confident and secure only to find that we TRIPLED our regular attendance, and I didn't have nearly enough adult volunteers to even out any sort of ratio of adult to kids. Kids brought 3 or 4 friends apiece. My volunteers literally stood there shellshocked, and even the most gentle of shepherds showed a little agitation.

Now, of course, this is a WONDERFUL problem to have in CM, and it was so great to see so many kids pumped up about being in SS. I mean, they were so full of vitality and energy that the building rocked. It was chaos, but we made it through with what we have, and if I can get my volunteers to come back next week (I kept coaxing them saying, "It will all be fixed next week"), we are going to have one heck of a ministry on our hands. Not only are we going to have to split into 5 groups (one for each grade level), but we may even have to split some grade levels into As and Bs. Children's Worship doubled in size, as well, and the coordinator for that was pretty stunned.

So, back to the drawing board it goes for me (and back to the lovely job of recruiting--ugh, I thought I was done with that). But where God opens a floodgate of little lambs, He surely has plans for shepherds to lead them, so onto my knees I go with nothing but faith and open ears.

Volunteering

A little rant here:

My biggest problem is that I work in a church where everyone flocks to "volunteer," but then when it comes to actually signing up for a particular day and time, they waddle away backwards like frightened ducks. It almost feels like they just want to say, "Yeah, I volunteer at my church" but not really do it. Plus, it's a consumer church--they expect others to hand them things because they pay for it (in tithes).

Call me jaded , but I've just come to the point where I'm logging all the times when I don't have volunteers, and come spring, I'm disseminating that information and saying plainly that we're not running [insert program here] until people step up. I don't mean it out of animosity but out of pragmatism. The same core people cannot keep running something. It leads to burnout. It pains me to keep calling on my CFM team members all the time. They need a break.

The associate pastor (with the encouragement of the head pastor) actually cancelled the All Church Retreat because no one stepped up to be on the committee. People are outraged, but she quietly stated that they were welcome to be on next year's committee. I wholeheartedly support her; sometimes you have to wake people up. This is a church, not BK "have it your way" drive thru. We all work together as the body of Christ to glorify and worship Him. The arm can't be the only one working while the leg and head wait to play. Hmmm, maybe we need to read The Little Red Hen in the services.

Another thing we've prayed about at staff meetings is priortizing. Parents have their kids overscheduled in 55 different activities and can't find time to fit church in. One parent told me that she doesn't have a problem letting her kid stay up until 8 for baseball practice "because it's baseball, you know" but she can't see letting her kid stay up at church until 7:45: "He needs to have some night that he goes to bed at a decent hour."

Or they want Chuck E Church, so that it is so overstimulating that it trumps the other activities. Where has the simplicity gone?

KidsInC kickoff

The kickoff went well. I'd say we had roughly 15-20 kids (good mix of boys and girls) . I have the exact numbers, but they are in a bag far away from my computer and my cheerios. All the people at the kickoff signed up to attend next week for the first real session, so I'm pleased. Also, there were a lot of new faces there and a lot of 4th graders, which means they'll be around next year.

It was a pool party, so the kids wore themselves out in the most beautiful pool (a member graciously donated her house to us). The parents seemed to get along, too, and offered to help.

BTSW a Sucess

BTSW went really well. My team worked well together, and everything looked great. We had several new families express interest in our program, and the kids had a blast and made a gigantic mess, which was great to see.

Pictures to come. Now to finish the teacher tea plans, but first a staff outing to Minute Maid to see the Astros play the Cubs. This is a tough call for me, as I was born in Houston but "grew up" in Chicago. What to do...what to do?

The big weekend is here

Well, after much planning and many nightmares of me waking up and forgetting that I was supposed to be at work and then running to work in my PJs while everyone is tearing all the decorations down (whew!), the weekend is here in exactly 7 hours. What am I doing to prep for it? I'm sitting in my PJs eating cheerios, reading blogs, drinking cherry coke, and talking to my cats. I'm trying to have a few moments of sanity before the chaos begins.

Tonight's the easy night: dinner and a movie. Tomorrow's a different story.

I've been thinking a lot about a post I read about Chuck E Cheese Church.
That's sort of what I feel like we're doing. The goal, in theory, of this BTSW is to minister to kids--to pray for them and to pray for their teachers before they go back to school, but I feel that goal has gotten lost somehow into this madness of trying to corral new members. All the meetings focus on getting visitors to come back, and while that is important, I feel like if we keep our focus on praying for the children, God will work on those families.

Don't get me wrong. We need to be an inviting church, but games and rides and tickets and flashing lights aren't in anyway as powerful as praying for a child or teacher who needs it.

This is what I've learned over cheerios and cherry coke, and I think that keeping my focus on what really matters will help me brush off any little things that go wrong this weekend. Who cares if one of the games is a dud, if we can send one child to school with the armor of God surrounding him/her?

BTSW is almost here

2 more days until BTSW!

It's an all church event.  Every ministry area has a booth with a kid activity, and there will be carnival type rides and a rock wall.  They're planning for 1500+ people.  Whew! 

Fire and Brimstone

Well, I decorated for BTSW this weekend, and put up fabric over the doors to look like mosquito nets and tents. Someone, without full information, wrote a detailed email to me and CCd to everyone in the world about how my cloth was a fire hazard.

This person has done this numerous times in the past and apparently has it in for the CM dept. His wife actually calls him a Pharisee, strangely enough. Anyway, he has been told that the fabric we use has been fire treated in the past, but he still wants to make issues out of it.

Because he CCd the world, this tiny issue which could've been resolved with one little email saying "it's fire treated" ended up being this gigantic legal matter, which still has not been resolved by the head pastor. My whole day was wasted dealing with this.

Art Auction

In the spring (yes, I'm already planning the Spring--SOMEBODY STOP ME!) we're going to have an art auction. It's something I did at Friendship UMC, but this one is going to be on a grander scale due to the fantastic facilities of this church (e.g. rooms with great stained glass windows and coffee bars).

Usually, we have the kids make art in SS and then mat it, label it, and frame it. This year, we want to make it actually look like a gallery and add soft music (we have a piano) and coffee. Then I saw this cool blog about poetry readings. Wouldn't it be nice if we added poetry to the mix?

Whew!

Trying to gear up for fall. So much to do. We've got the Back to School Weekend coming up. Then the teacher tea. Then we have the KidsInC kickoff (preteen ministry). Plus the start of SS--I think for the first weekend, we are just going to have the kids and teachers play games and get to know each other--no official lesson. That's it for August, but it's a significant amount. I still have all the little details to work out.

Well, I think I'm heading home for the day. Can brainstorm there. It's about to pour!

Testing

Just testing to see if I can remotely publish to my blog.