Back to the barre

I love Cyberspace. I love that we, ministry professionals, can get together and support each other from miles away with the click of a mouse.

I'm a dancer. I used to be in a ballet/tap/jazz company in Chicago, but moved to Houston and haven't found one here that doesn't think I'm too "old." I still dance, though, and am in an Irish company, but I digress. My point in this, beyond rambling, is that I like the movie Center Stage. At some point in the movie, the dance instructor tells a struggling student that she needs to remember her "home" which is the ballet barre. Whenever she's stressed, she should just go back to the barre.

There is a point to this (I told you I'm nonlinear sometimes), and that is that when things are rough at work, I feel like I can always go back to my home in Cyberspace where I can read others' struggles and solutions and get support from my Crossroads friends or from people I've never met and know only by their blog names.

It's tough being in ministry. I've worked for big corporations like Worldcom, but ministry has it's own set of problems, mainly because you don't expect Christians to behave the same way people do at Worldcom. I guess that's a perception problem on my part, but it is still frustrating. The constant backbiting, the control freaks, the patriarchal leaders who disregard women in ministry, the people who seem to want to completely sabotage children's ministry and the people who seem to forget that we even exist as they stomp all over us, trumping us out of meeting space or money and worse, head pastors who don't have the guts to stand up to the trumpers--all of these can wear you down and make you want to run away screaming. I'm at that point today, if you can't tell. But I know that I can always come back to the barre--back to people who struggle with the same problems and who remind me that I am called to a purpose high above human issues and to discard my tunnel vision, which gets wrapped up in the negatives.

I wish, that at some point, we could all meet up and have a retreat of sorts to get away, share ideas and notes, and support each other in person. Maybe we should.

Presentation

I gave a presentation this weekend on Generation Mosaic, how to relate to them, and how to get them connected to Sunday School and to the church in general.

My research led me to a few conclusions about this generation (younger Y and Z): they are charitable and volunteer oriented (ideal missionaries), tech savvy, very sensory, well educated, and a little bit of everything. Problem arises between the generations because Ys and Zs aren't linear thinkers, as a whole. For example, when watching the CNN screen, Boomers will look at mainly the anchor talking and ignore the rest of the screen. Xers will selectively look at both, and Yers will see it all at once, taking it all in and not necessarily prioritizing one piece of news over another (do they need to, really? depends). Fast edit video and video games have contributed to this style of thinking, which is not a fault but a difference. The problem is that past generations, though different in thought and values, could still communicate those values effectively amongst each other, whereas the older generations are frustrated with Yers because they don't think in the same left brained, linear way.

How do we relate to them? through the 4 R's: being real, relational, relevant, and rigorous. Mosaics want adults to be authentic. Being real communicates integrity and helps foster trust, something they want to have with adults but don't readily have with them. They know adults don't have it all together, and they want to hear that. Gone is the 1950s Cleaver perfection.

Relational is what post moderns are searching for in churches anyway--a community. Mosaics are no different, except that they probably desire it more. My Space is booming with kids looking for community/relationships, and don't tell them that their "friends" list (known for a few weeks) isn't as important as someone mom and dad have known for years. Their friends are just as valued, even if they haven't met face to face, which is the beauty of Cyberspace really. So building on being real, establish relationships with these kids outside of SS.

Relevance--educational theory supports a need for kids to connect what is learned to real life. I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one, readers, but relevance helps those lessons stick.

Rigorous--this one is the hard one bc rigor has a negative connotation of stiffness and rigidity. By rigor, I mean persistance. Don't give up on these kids, and be rigorous about helping them iron out priorities. Helicopter parents have hovered so much that Mosaics can't make decisions on their own--they've lost their voice. Any coach or teacher is going to tell them that their sport/activity is #1 priority. Problem is, these kids are so overprogrammed and have let others prioritize for them for so long that they try to do EVERYTHING as #1, burning themselves out in the process.

Church, however, has become one of those things that parents put on the back burner bc God will forgive an absence but Coach won't. The rigor comes into play when we remind kids of the first 2 commandments when setting priorities and have them learn to make Biblically based decisions on their own through prayer and Biblical insight.

Also we need to be rigorous about making sure that they have internalized the Bible story/lesson. Workshop rotation is cool and exciting, but if they can't connect the science project to the Bible lesson, there was a breakdown somewhere (probably in linear vs nonlinear communication). Use KWL: find out what the kids already know, then what they want to know, and what they've learned at the end. Ask for clarification. Involve them in analysis throughout (What do you think is going to happen? Why did Jesus do that?). And, again, WR has its downfalls because of having a different teacher from week to week, but make sure you ask, "What did you do last week? And how does that relate to the 1o leper story?"

Anyway, a 4 hour workshop is hard to summarize in a blog posting, but the presentation went well, and I've been asked to give a modified version to a parent SS class soon. I'm on the cusp of X and Y, so I can see both sides and am sometimes linear and thinking and sometimes more right brained. I see neither as negative, but if we don't bridge the gap in communication, we're going to lose these kids.

Stream of Consciousness

Went to the conference this weekend which was a bust, really. JCM was right--it's good for first timers and for getting craft/game ideas. I did get a few tidbits of good information, but networking was almost impossible, and really the whole thing felt like a giant resource fair. I felt like each seminar was just to advertise the products they had to sell on the back table. This is why I stopped going to conferences years ago.

I was, however, introduced to the God Rocks videos. They're reminiscent of Schoolhouse Rock but designed to help with memorization of Bible Verses. Why did I not see these before?

Planning 2 big events back to back (what was I thinking): Fear Not Festival Oct 27 and Art Auction on Nov 11. After much prayer and brainstorming, I figured out a way to make my team comfortable forming sub committees. Originally, I had them each taking up a section of an event and forming a subcommittee from that, but that was too daunting for many of them. So I now have groups of 4 forming subcomittees together, and they are just exploding with excitement. In fact, I may have to reel them in a little because they're treading on thin ice budgetwise (not a bad problem to overcome really).

Art Auction: I need to think of a name for it. We're not only having it set up like a gallery with a silent auction for the kids' art, but we're going to have music, a coffee bar, and poetry readings. It's more like an art celebration than just an auction. The theme is The Glory of God, and kids aged 2 to grade 5 can submit.

Lots of behind the scenes stuff going on. I've been involved in ministry all my life (my parents were CMs), but I'm always surprised by the amount of underhanded backstabbing and control issues that happen in the church.

Going to change the name (and possibly location) of this blog soon, so I'll let everyone know where the new site is.

Ok, it's Monday, my day off, so maybe I should get some things done around the house for once!

Conferences

Headed to INCM's Children's Ministry Seminar in Fort Worth this weekend.

Anyone else know of any good conferences/worshops? I know there's an INCM children's pastor's conference. Is it a good one? How about Promiseland? APCE?

Others?

I need a retreat

It's my day off, but really, I have so much to do at home that I can't find time to refresh. I need some time, though, because too much is happening all at once.

Something strange is happening at the church, and I can't tell if it is good or bad. I think it's the chaos before the good really. We have an interim pastor and a pretty young/new staff right now, so that always shakes things up, especially in a Presbyterian church.

I didn't grow up Presby and have always worked/worshipped in Methodist churches, so the culture is a little new to me, more new than I thought it would be. Plus, the area is pretty affluent, and I'm used to working with either inner city kids or less affluent suburban families. I mean, many of the issues are the same with all CM work or any work with volunteers really (apathy, lethargy, misuse of time, etc), but there's some spirit in this church that I can't quite put my finger on. All I know is that I have the strongest urge to fall down literally on my knees and pray for us without ceasing.

For the past few weeks, I've had several somewhat negative encounters. They aren't negative outright but in a way that I can't put my finger on. They just feel negative. I know I sound like a nutjob, but there's something just weird. There's much much much miscommunication, and I am usually the queen of communication (English major, afterall), but I'm having trouble getting people to correctly hear what I have to say. Also, there's intense division happening. The different services are divided against each other. People with different backgrounds are dividing against each other. Parents divide against each other into little cliques--parents of preschoolers don't mingle with parents of elementary or parents of jr high, etc., and they all vehemently fight for their group without regard for another.

Sunday school groups are fighting to steal people (to be the popular group), and small groups aren't open to receive others. It's like rush week at college. I hated rush week, and I hate seeing that culture permeate a church, the success driven culture.

Another weird thing: The school district is the new church. School activities trump any church activities, and man, let me tell you, these people have themselves stacked with school activities. And if their kids are homeschooled, they are stacked with park district activities, particularly sports. The swim team forces parents to attend and work every meet, and they do so without questioning (well, I have to do it or little Suzee will get kicked off the team and won't get scholarships, and I know that she's only 6, but you've got to plan ahead for her future), but they won't volunteer at a church event. Again a focus on success, whatever that means.

Where is the future? Is the future in little Suzee's college years, when empty nest mom and dad have no idea what to do now that they aren't micromanaging her life? According to an article in Psychology Today and further discussed on A Nation of Wimps, with cell phones, they will continue to micromanage. Suzee needs them to.

Or is the future much farther ahead (or closer than we think)? What about her future with God? What about her present with God?

I'm not articulating my thoughts well because I can't even get a grasp on them, but I just feel like weeping or praying or both for the church, and though I think that we are headed for something great, the "right now" is very troubling.

Recruitment Ideas and weekend recap

Saw this article in Christianity Today. Most of it is pretty much a nobrainer, but it does have some good ideas like parent day and bring a friend to volunteer day.

Back to work after a weekend away on vacation. Our numbers only dropped by 10, which was good for a holiday weekend. My 5th grade shepherd is doing a fabulous job of connecting with the kids offsite (Away from SS). She put a stack of little notes in my box for me to mail out for visitors and nonvisitors alike.

Friday was the Church Family Play Date. We met at a bowling alley and had great fun. Watching the kids was precious, especially watching the youth play with the kids. I loved the mix of family types (youth, elem, preschool). The Older Adults would've joined us, making it an intergenerational event, but they had an event scheduled already. Next month is pumpkin carving.

My vacation went well. Celebrated my friend's 30th at a South American restaurant in Austin. So much good food. I think I ate my weight in plantains. It was good to get away. My brain feels much more rested.